One thing you might not know about me is that I’m not a celebrater. I do not care about presents, and I find it hard to get giddy about birthdays or any of that jazz. In fact, I would have been an awesome Jehovah’s Witness if I hadn’t drank so much in my youth. So, before this friendship goes any farther, let me just get the facts out there:
- You will never receive a Christmas card from me even though I buy them every year.
- If you ever get a present, it will not be on time.
- If you get a present, you will not get a card.
- If you get a present, I probably won’t have it wrapped with the right kind of paper or even wrapped at all.
I don’t know why I’m like this, and I don’t know why I can’t pull it all together. Truth be told, I don’t even want you to buy me a present for my birthday or any major holiday, because I know I can’t reciprocate appropriately, and your present to me just reminds me of how lousy and unworthy I am. (Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know I need a therapist.)
It was hard marrying into my husband’s family. His family sends cards like crazy. Every person sends a card to every person for every holiday. Nope– can’t just send a card from the Wilkes family. Nope. Each. Person. Must. Send. One. I can’t get any help from my husband because he is just like me when it comes to cards. Did we exchange cards today? No. Did we exchange gifts or cards on our anniversary in August? No. And I don’t think we ever will, which is just great if you ask either of us. Another thing that was hard marrying into Nacho Daddy’s family is that he used to celebrate his birthday month AND his birthday week IN ADDITION to his birthday. Really? The sad thing is that I just fail epically when it comes to trying to create a special moment. Last year, I planned a surprise canoe trip for my husband’s birthday, and we almost drowned our kid. True Story.
Regardless, every holiday, I think optimistically. Yes, this Valentines Day was going to be the one where the stars aligned and I was going to do something nice and unexpected for my friends and mom and grandma and cousin, and all the women in Nacho Mama’s quilting world. I was going to make this pattern from Crabapple Hill, the pincushion with needle book.
So I found out we were going to have a Snow Day, which is huge in San Antonio. I ran to the fabric store and bought velveteen and wire ribbon and all the things I needed. I was so proud of myself. I have to say, it was going quite well. I liked my herringbone stitch even (which is great news since I used a contrasting thread).But then I started my first tryst with wire ribbon. Godawful. Then I tried my second. Even Worse. And so now my cute little presents, two weeks later, still look like the picture above. Oh, and there is just one. So, girls, sorry you aren’t getting jack from me this Valentines Day. Maybe next year.