You might have noticed I haven’t been around here much, but hey, I have a good excuse. I had a birthday. A sucky birthday. The kind of birthday that smacks you in the face and reminds you that you’re halfway to dead, and you’ll probably be super dead by the time your grandchildren get here, and well, life just stinks when you’re dead. And then you start wondering why you didn’t start having kids at age 12 so that you can spend more time with them since you’re half-dead and your kid is only five years old. Oh, and speaking of kids, why did you just have one? Have you had any birthdays like this? I couldn’t even get dressed that day, but luckily, I did get out of bed.
And then I walked straight to the computer to cheer myself up. I figured if I was going to be this old, then I was going to buy something luxurious (clearly I forgot about the giant quilting machine upstairs). So I ordered a Dyson. Yes, a vacuum. They say that if you feel crappy that you should do something nice for someone. Well, honey, You. Are. Welcome. I want Nacho Daddy to be able to clean in style.
3 days later: Here’s that sweet boy opening up my gift to him for my birthday. His new vacuum!! With ball technology!!
I’m not sure what ball technology is either.
Anyway, I have repeatedly cleaned this house, and I can’t stop. I won’t even let Nacho Daddy use it. The only time he spends with it is when I have him carry it up or down the stairs. See those crumbs on the floor by the chair? Nope, not there any more. In fact, my house is so clean I wish I had more kids or a dog or something else to clean up after.
It’s a shame I’m half dead and too old to get any more kids.
Have you had awful birthdays like this, or am I crazy by myself?