Happy Birthday to me.

You might have noticed I haven’t been around here much, but hey, I have a good excuse.  I had a birthday.  A sucky birthday.  The kind of birthday that smacks you in the face and reminds you that you’re halfway to dead, and you’ll probably be super dead by the time your grandchildren get here, and well, life just stinks when you’re dead.  And then you start wondering why you didn’t start having kids at age 12 so that you can spend more time with them since you’re half-dead and your kid is only five years old.  Oh, and speaking of kids, why did you just have one?  Have you had any birthdays like this?  I couldn’t even get dressed that day, but luckily, I did get out of bed. 

And then I walked straight to the computer to cheer myself up.  I figured if I was going to be this old, then I was going to buy something luxurious (clearly I forgot about the giant quilting machine upstairs).  So I ordered a Dyson.  Yes, a vacuum.  They say that if you feel crappy that you should do something nice for someone.  Well, honey, You. Are. Welcome.  I want Nacho Daddy to be able to clean in style. 

3 days later:  Here’s that sweet boy opening up my gift to him for my birthday.  His new vacuum!!  With ball technology!!

I’m not sure what ball technology is either.

Anyway, I have repeatedly cleaned this house, and I can’t stop. I won’t even let Nacho Daddy use it.  The only time he spends with it is when I have him carry it up or down the stairs.  See those crumbs on the floor by the chair?  Nope, not there any more.  In fact, my house is so clean I wish I had more kids or a dog or something else to clean up after.


It’s a shame I’m half dead and too old to get any more kids.

Have you had awful birthdays like this, or am I crazy by myself?

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8 Responses to Happy Birthday to me.

  1. amylouwho says:

    Holy cow! I just had a very similar birthday 4 days after Christmas and I too am almost half-dead, with a 5, 3, and 8 month old whose children will be born as I am being lowered into the ground. and get this, our new dyson is on it’s way. No lie!! But my husband bought it. And i guess it’s a subtle hint to stop wallowing and get to work.

    • Oh dear. I have absolutely no input. I’m still a baby in the birthday world. But I am all about having a Dyson! We bought a new vaccuum a few years ago and I was absolutely shocked at how much crap I vacuumed up the first time. It makes me shudder to think about it. I think it was Issac Mizrahi who said something like “when you are feeling down about yourself for [insert reason here] buy something for your home. You are never too [old/fat/ugly/tired/unproductive/whatever ] for a nice fluffy comforter.” He of course was much more sucinct. I probably slaughtered it. Anyway, happy birthday a few days late. And I hope that next year there is none of this terrible birthday business. Luvyou!

      • suzanne mceachern says:

        I thought you were really sick and that’s why you were irritable! My 30th birthday was horrible, but they just keep getting better and yours will too!Just remember you look cute as a button on your scooter and we all love you and everything you do!

      • Thanks so much. 38 just sucks. I’m going to have to commit to having an awesome year. blah!

  2. Karin says:

    You don’t have to have a birthday to have days like that! I have had many of those days lately – and most recently it was worse because I had my tubes tied. Now, my sons are 19 and almost-17, so I definitely don’t need more kids. But, I am a MOM. A very mothering mom. I know I shouldn’t have more kids (thus getting tubes tied), but the fact now that I *can’t* have more kids even if we won the lotto or something, just depresses the heck outta me! But, life goes on and now I can just hope for grandkids (when my kids get married someday) to spoil. And maybe I’ll be around for great grandkids someday too (oh, I certainly hope so!)


  3. suzanne mceachern says:

    Forgot to answer: one child, quality not quantity and I do have the best kid EVER!

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